One of the great areas for promotional merchandising is football and what a week it’s been in that sector.

We’ve had ‘Arry’ denied the England manager’s job, a fact that caused widespread grief and wailing among London’s pearly Kings and Queens.

Their vision of the English team dieting on ‘Boiled Beef and Carrots’, whilst adopting the ‘Lambeth Walk’ as a training mechanism, is gone forever.  Instead the FA have opted for ‘Roy the Rover’, he’s played in more countries than a Peruvian pan pipe band. He managed more foreigners than the staff at Heathrow Airport and he speaks more languages that a trinket seller at the Pyramids.

It’s not been a good week for Scot’s involved in English football either.   ‘Fergie’ took the huff and offered Mancini a ‘square go’, ‘Kenny’, who only knows how to be in the huff, offered anybody, anywhere, a ‘square go’ and the respective managers of Bolton, Blackburn and Aston Villa are coming out next season as a speciality act for bird spotters.   They will be promoted as ‘The 3 Tits’.

Up here in Scotland it’s all so very different, except if you’re pally with ‘Ally’.   He’s more likely to be managing the steak bake counters at Greggs in Govan next season than managing Rangers .   Those who play in hoops will be changing their name to ‘Cel’ for next season, the reason?   They are gifting Rangers ‘tic’, let’s face it, they badly need some.

But, it’s not all doom and gloom, because…..drum roll.

“We are The Champions”

I can confirm that The Business Incentives Group, that’s us!   Have been awarded the contract to be the exclusive on site retailer to the 2012 Champions League Final in Munich on 19^th May.   Its Bayern Munch v Chelsea and we will be selling, every cap, scarf, replica, match ball, and programme.

This really is a ‘Biggie’

If you harbour a lifelong ambition to see Chelsea as champions, must be in the stadium to see the beautiful Bavarians bag the cup or if you simply just want to hang about the VIP area sipping champagne, chewing canapés and lounging……………….

Don’t Call Us!   We’re working!

I remember Snooker’s most famous commentator, he was, ‘Whispering’ Ted Lowe.   His most famous gaffe, of many, was that he once said during a live broadcast:  “And for those of you who are watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green”.

The World Snooker Championship is synonymous with two things:   The beginning of summer and the advent of colour TV.

Ah!  Snooker in black and white.   The good old days, drug takers, drunks, smokers, swearing, cheating!  And that was just the people watching!

Ah!   The players and their jovial nom du plume’s;   The Hurricane, The Whirlwind, Steady Eddy and Bill the Booze Bag!    It’s a fact!   Bill Werbeniuk from Canada used to get a tax rebate for his ‘Bevvy’.   He could be seen live on TV swilling pints of lagers and smoking Benson & Hedges!   “Them wurt days lad”.   And that was all in black and white.

Nowadays we have colour in full HD!   We have a myriad of colours to follow while the balls break across the table.  Red, Yellow, Green, Blue, Pink, Black!    A political metaphor for the modern world.   All colours and sexual orientations are represented.   Easy Tiger!   Nobody said to focus on the pink and brown!

I simply want to make the point, that here at BIG (NO! It’s not another metaphor for the guys in the office!)  we, and our clients take colour for granted.   Where would we both be without the use of colour?   Picture the scene!

• Neutral telephone booths
• Neutral football strips
• Neutral uniforms
• Neutral lingerie, need I say more!

We at BIG, would be out of business without colour, so would we all!  Traffic light manufacturers, Flag makers, Ice cream makers (vanilla aside) and Lollipop ladies would go!   We would be left with: Undertakers, Surgeons, Priests, Ministers and Traffic wardens. What a sobering thought!

I think I’m on to something, people who wear cheery bright clothes in their profession, are in fact, bright cheery people.   People who wear dull clothes are in fact dull.

OK Let’s change the political scenario:

David Cameron, dull.     Roy Chubby Brown, colourful.     Who should be P.M.?

Ed Milliband, dull.     Lily Savage, colourful.     Who should be in opposition?

Simon Cowell, dull.     Lady Gaga, colourful.     Who should be, who cares!

Victoria Beckham, dull.     Boy George, colourful.     Who should be Mrs Beckham?

“Colour, colour, anything in colour, balls, pens, Key rings, phones, mouse mats, diaries, miniature snooker sets, Bill Werbenuik’s accountant”

We’re being told that across the UK there will be a record drought in 2012!

Wow!  How things have improved in a week.

Last weekend after a slither of sunshine weaker than the beer in the Rovers Return, we were told to put on sun-tan oil and ‘Be Careful’ when in the sunshine!   What happened?   It poured down from the heavens and my factor fifty ran down my speedo’s faster than Lynford Christie’s lunch-box in the 100 yards.

So the wise weather men, after getting a one-day prediction wrong have managed to forecast a drought for the whole of 2012, I’d rather trust a forecast from Mystic Meg, at least she is always optimistic!

The holiday companies are bombarding us with ‘have a staycation’.  It’s a case of ‘Get tickled in Tickleford, ‘Get leathered in Leatherhead’ and what happens in Pumphouse and Lickford, I’ll leave to your imagination!

Now the stay-cationers have booked to be tickled, leathered and visit Pumphouse and Lickford, they’re told, conserve water!   No watersports!

On 2nd thoughts maybe with what goes on in the villages above the ‘no watersports’ is a good thing!!!

But! And it’s a big but!  Let’s consider they are right and their forecast comes to pass!  Hey hey!   Your ever faithful, erstwhile promotional products supplier will have a field day!    We can just imagine it now!   Parasols, Sun Glasses, Factor whatever, outdoor ping pong tables, barbeque sets, the opportunities are endless!

And finally!   It’s expected to affect more than 20 Million people, therefore, we better get stocked up.   I must call ‘Droughts R Us’ for a brochure.

“Discount tickets to Pumphouse and Lickford here, see or participate in all the attractions, get your tickets here, discount tickets, discount tickets”

It’s a fact that 95% of Businesses use promotional merchandising.   It’s also a fact that the average person is confronted by promotional  products every single time they watch sport on TV, be it Football, Rugby, Formula One or the Boat Race, did I hear you say  “Why the Boat Race?”.

Well!  Before I answer, here’s another fact.   Every protest also has promotional items in one form or another, be it a burning flag, (let’s face it, they had to buy a flag to start with!).  A T-Shirt with a message (1 printed T-Shirt purchased, thank you!).    Or even if it’s a Fathers For Justice protest, (1 Super-hero outfit, XL around the gut, please!   On 2^nd thought, you’d better make that XXL!).

But the nutcase who ruined the Boat Race on Saturday, an event which I look forward to every year elitist or not, blew away my facts!   Why?  Because he missed a great opportunity to purchase and brand, a water-proof skull cap bearing a poignant message, such as “I am a serious nut-case”!

With over 200 countries watching the event and 250,000 perched along the Thames bank, he choose to rise above the water like a B movie Poseidon, all big eared,  flushed red faced and bearded, without a message.  He displayed no cause and no indication as to what he was there for.   Not a soul on or off the river had a clue what he was all about!   I personally thought he was a serial autograph hunter who wanted in 1^st.  Many thought he was a member of that little known sect “Turn My Head Into Pulp With A Big Oar .com”.

If you are going to risk your life, you might as well get you message across, just in case your head is speedily separated from your body and is last spotted flying over Hammersmith Bridge.   That tends to make speech a little difficult!

And finally!

The debate has now turned to what punishment should be dished out to the ‘perp’ (TV spiel!).

I think he should be tied up by the contestants and whacked across the bare buttocks with their rowing implements until his gluteus maximus is the same as his stupid face, bright Red, swollen and very sOAR.

In the meantime, if you planning a protest, be it tied to the gates of Buckingham Palace, throwing yourself in front of a racehorse or storming St Pauls Cathedral then we can be a BIG help by offering a wide range of high quality branded products.

“Get your protest items here, Branded Handcuffs, Horseshoe removers with logo.  Cathedral storming kits, including branded ladders and hooks.   We have a special offer on once worn Batman and Robin outfits, get them while stocks last”.

I knew the summer was just on the horizon on Friday afternoon.   Our balloon supplier came to see us; he always appears just before the ‘good weather’ comes in!   For a purveyor of such a cheery product, he sure is grumpy, although after we placed a sizeable order with him, his smile returned, albeit grudgingly, but we definitely saw his cheeks move outwards and there was a glimmer of teeth!   It’s great buying a balloon; it makes you feel all childlike and prompts you to want to leave work to play in the park.   Although many a football club manager would disagree: they have bought plenty of very expensive balloons but didn’t enjoy them one bit!!!

Although balloons are a very serious product in the world of promotional merchandising, you can’t help laughing and getting all reminiscent when dealing with them.   Kid’s parties, birthdays, celebrations, awards and victories, all are perfect opportunities for a bit of balloon waggling.    You don’t see many balloons at a funeral or a divorce court.

Hey!   Maybe I could start a new trend, if balloons are for the good times, maybe the widower, the divorcee are rolling about laughing in their respective aisles.   Maybe a nice balloon is what they need to make their day, they could argue of course that it took years just to get rid of a ‘balloon’ so don’t offer me another one now!

I don’t know where you come from, but I know for sure in my area, there was a ‘Ragman’ with a trumpet and a van, who, with little encouragement, and equally little tact, managed to get me to part with my dad’s best suit for a single balloon.   From then on I was known as ‘Balloon Head’.   It wasn’t my best business decision, especially as my father only had one suit.  He had to stay in for 8 months until he could buy a new one.   The Ragman was never seen again.

In my balloons waggling days, they were a simple single colour entity, which on a good day lasted for a ‘good day’.  Mostly they were to be found wrapped around lamp-posts or languishing on the roof of a marquee or classroom.  Funny thing is, the ones on the lamp-post wires lasted for days, a strange phenomenon indeed!

Nowadays there is a huge variety of styles and materials, we have: latex, rubber, and hydrogen ones for instance.   What is more, balloons are now often used for BIG advertising campaigns.  They are an excellent promotional tool which can be used at a great variety of events. Full colour logos can be printed across the entire surface of the balloon, or produced as a subtle logo on one side (does a balloon have a side?).  Prices are as varied as the balloons themselves.

If you are interested in making an advertising campaign involving our helium filled, spherical friend, a bright balloon would be one of the best means to communicate with.   You can also use balloons for weddings, sporting events, birthday parties as well as at your restaurants to promote your brand name.

So let’s celebrate the end of Winter and the coming of Summer by waving our balloons at the Boat Race, The Grand National, Cup Finals, Wimbledon.  You could even wave them at your next visit to the divorce court or the crematorium (assuming it’s not you of course!).  I think I’m right in saying these events last about 45 minutes.

“Balloons get your Black balloons here, especially made not to last long, a special offer on our 45min duration range, Black balloons, Black Balloons”.

What’s In a Uniform?   Well, for a start there is usually a body.  Be it a Police Constable, a Paramedic or a Nurse (my favourite uniform!   Has to be a female nurse, of course!!).   With every uniform there is usually a bank of symbols or a definitive colour that lets us know, who is who.

The London PC has a funny helmet, which I must say looks totally unsuitable for the task!   The Paramedic is covered in reflective bands to ensure they are not hindered when on or travelling to an emergency.   And then there’s the Nurse’s uniform, in case you missed the above ‘my favourite’.   The material should have a little space on the tunic for the upside down watch to sit.

So what’s Stella’s Uniforms all about?   If you’re a Scottish Nationalist, you’d wear it in a minute, if you’re looking to go clubbing in a chic hotspot at the weekend, they are no doubt a winner.

But!  If you’re representing the UK at the Olympic Games, I’m not so sure you would be too happy with the design and to me they look a shade un-comfy to wear.

Now, it’s not for me, a mere and humble uniform supplier and textile designer of some 15 years to criticize Stella.    C’mon now!   Her dad was in the Beatles and her deceased Mum’s food brand still turns out a lovely ‘Veggie’ lasagne, my favourite.

If Stella takes two years to come up with the above design, good and well!

Here at BIG, we often get asked to provide uniforms at the last minute.   At times we have had to source, design and supply in two days! Two years is another world!    Her effort, considering the extra 728 days she has on us, reminded me of my report card in 1^st year ‘Could Do Better’.   In my opinion the design should represent the Union Jack, far more.  Alex Salmond must be having a quiet chortle, while Cameron chokes on his Yorkshire PUD!

The question is where is the RED?

While attending all these spectacular fashion business educational courses and learning within all the ‘fashion Houses’ Stella designs for, shouldn’t somebody have told her RED is the ultimate performance colour

And it’s not just me, here’s an extract from The Guardian (Thursday 22^nd March)

Professor Robert Barton, along with his university of Durham colleague Dr Russell Hill, co-authored a report in 2005 that showed that wearing the colour red consistently increased athletes’ probability of victory. Their initial study was based around combat sports – for which competitors are randomly assigned either blue or red uniforms – at the Athens Olympics, but subsequent research has shown similar trends across a range of sports.

“Obviously she has designed these from a fashion point of view and was not taking into account the possible effects that might have on performance,” said Barton of the uniforms, which are predominantly blue and white, and in most cases feature only a red trim around the collar. “Given there’s an obvious justification for [including more red] and given the effects that we and other scientists have found, it does seem like a mistake.”

Anyway, worst case scenario, the athletes can always wear an earpiece and listen to ‘Help’, ‘Get Back’ or ‘Twist and Shout’ that should do the trick.  Failing that a good healthy portion of a Linda McCartney nicety will do just as well.

In the meantime “Uniforms, speedy Uniforms here, delivery within two days and we’ll throw in the RED for free”.

I don’t mean sales of Bohemian Rhapsody!   I mean our Monarch, Lizzie!

So, which side of Hadrian’s Wall are you camped on?   The side that kept the Romans at bay or the side that has Morris dancing as a national sport.   During the Queen’s jubilee celebrations, will you be decked out in a Union Jack suit singing ‘Roll out the barrel’?   Or will you be wearing the Braveheart tartan, scoffing on a haggis and quietly miming ‘Scot’s Wha Hey’ whilst lying under the bed.

Like It or not – it’s going to be difficult to ignore.   The fact is, The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations are upon us.   For we who supply promotional items, it’s a Godsend, ‘Long Live The Queen’ .   I’m licking my lips at the prospect of all those royal celebrations to come, Weddings, Birthdays, Babies, even the odd divorce can cause a buying frenzy of articles that fall into my most hated word….’Memorabilia’ .   Horrible!

Tourism to the UK is predicted to double this year due the combination of The Queen’s Jubilee and the Olympics.    And if the Queen should pip Usain Bolt to the gold in the 100 metres, then we will go into tourism overdrive.   Houses on the lower slopes of ‘Chateau au Lait’ will rent for £1000.00 per week and if you’re lucky to own a bungalow in Wimbledon, a two week rental will enable you to pay off the national debt of Greece, with change.
People worry about the costs of the Jubilee being recovered, who cares!   The long term PR benefits mean our 2012 Union Jack T-Shirts could become a much sought after collector’s item and we can sell them and pay the Queen’s bill.

Apparently there will be a huge global audience watching the Jubilee celebrations on TV around the world.    We are hoping to enlist a member of Fathers 4 Justice to dress up as William Wallace with www.bigintheuk.com painted on his back, while he scales the gates of Buckingham Palace.  Alternatively, he could throw himself under a horse in the Grand National, as long as it’s not the one I won in the BIG office draw.

If we can make it pay, it will be through small business getting a chance to flex its muscles and that ain’t a bad thing.

We should be celebrating The Queen’s service to this country and the positive impact she has for the UK around the world.   As a business owner, yes we lose a day!  But equally so, staff have the benefit of an extra day off, that lift’s morale and businesses will benefit from that.

The media also have their part to play in promoting this Jubilee in a positive way;  they should give a ‘Free Jubilee T-Shirt’ will every copy sold.   ‘Newspaper Editors please Note:  ‘WE ARE CHEAP’.

This event is a one off in our lifetime so let’s get out the bunting and shout about it!
“BUNTING BUNTING,  get your Queen’s jubilee bunting here, BUNTING BUNTING”

Maria, who left BIG for ‘social media’ pastures new, had been writing the BIG Blog for a few years and in that time she received many compliments and accolades from clients and industry bodies alike.

She was particularly excited when she was mentioned ‘in dispatches’. Her blogging skills were spotted by an industry magazine called The Drum, the magazine paid a compliment to her branded goods musings! Being an erstwhile Glasgow ‘west-endy’ and Byers Road socialite, she managed to dine out in the blogger’s bars that snake through the west end of Glasgow for a week. The stocks of ‘Jou Du Caviar’ and Prochetto were sorely depleted.

Now it is left to me to fly the flag, throw the baseball cap in the air and wear a ‘Why Always Me’ T-Shirt. Fans of the English premiership and Mario Ballotelli, in particular will get a chortle or two from that.

Did anyone notice the literary twist to take the reader from the blog about blogging, to merchandising, in one neat switch?

‘Nice one Ian, nice one, son. Nice one Ian, let’s have another one’. A switch-back!

This blogging lark on a website could be fun. Maybe I’ll get followed on Twitter, maybe I’ll stay out of the pub on a Friday and stay in for a good ‘tweet’. I can imagine my house in the 1980’s, there I am sitting quietly in the corner and my Dad asks, “Are you not going out for a pint tonight Son”. “No Dad” I reply, “I’m staying in to tweet”. A quick call from my parents to Social Services and I would be seeing the dawn from a hospital ward for the next ten weeks. Don’t even suggest the standard fayre would be ‘Tweety Pie’ this gag must have been used before.

Well, it’s likely I’ll be here for the foreseeable future, so let’s get blogging about promotional merchandising, here go’s.

Have you heard about Merida? No well you soon will.

I predict she will be a household name by July of this year. She will probably become better known than William Wallace, Robert the Bruce or Maria Barr, the cheeky wee blogger!

Watch this space!

Seeing the official Olympic Games merchandise got everyone in the BIG office excited about the games and even prompted a few of us to give our trainers a dusting in preparation. And while taking part in sport and getting excited about the Olympics is to be encouraged, brands have been warned not to use any ambush marketing tactics ahead of this summer’s big event.

What is ambush marketing?

The International Olympic Committee defines ambush marketing as ‘a planned attempt by a third party to associate itself directly or indirectly with the Olympic Games and gain the recognition and benefits associated with being an Olympic partner’.

While most people know that the official logos can’t be used for copyright reasons, a lot of people are still a bit hazy about what constitutes an attempt by a brand to ‘associate itself directly or indirectly with the Olympic Games’. Does tweeting about your excitement about the athletics count? What if you’re a sportswear retailer tweeting about the athletics?

Why all the fuss about ambush marketing?

Amendments to the London Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act 2006 mean that there’s now more of an onus on individuals to prove that they didn’t knowingly violate Olympic legislation with regards to ambush marketing.

A recent study revealed that despite having paid a cool £700m to cash in on goodwill from the Olympic Games this summer, most people still haven’t formed a strong association between the official sponsors and the games. Whether or not ambush marketing is to blame for this, officials are on guard for anyone trying to hijack the games at the expense of the official sponsors.

What should you do?

Put in place a policy to prevent anyone from falling foul of the law now and make sure there’s a clear paper trail left so that you can prove that all necessary and reasonable steps were taken to prevent any form of ambush marketing.The digital world is being policed too, so make sure that the people managing your social media accounts know what they can and can’t say.

There are specific zones where only official sponsors can advertise — don’t advertise there and make sure you make that clear to all departments.

If in doubt, refer to the official guidelines set out by the London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games and Paralympic Games (LOCOG).

We’re swatting up here as we’ve had a lot of interest in some of our promotional sport accessories already. We’ll always asses your artwork and do our bit to make sure your don’t inadvertently use a strapline or image that might land you in hot water.

They started out by posting Love Heart sweets to selected clients and associates. With the gift came a message suggesting that the recipient tweeted about something they loved using the hashtag #dg_love. They even created a dedicated Twitter account for the ‘tweetheart’ campaign; @twthearts.

They didn’t ask people to tweet about how much they love DirectionGroup’s services or simply ‘like’ a Facebook page, but called on them to do something social, associating their brand with the warm and fuzzy feelings that created. The Love Hearts were the hook. Even the stoniest of hearts belonging to Valentine’s Day haters would be warmed by receiving some Love Hearts in the post, so it was a good place to start.

And Love Hearts aren’t just for Valentine’s Day. They’re an iconic sweet, and are popular with our clients all year round. Go on, spread the love!